Resistance! Robert Cooperman (3)
Resistance! ∼ Robert Cooperman
Trump and the Hurricane, I
You know that scene where the Mouse
Apprentice makes the waters rise?
I did the same to Houston. Fantastic,
wasn’t it? The greatest hurricane in history.
They should’ve named it for me, but picked
Harvey. Harvey? Hurricanes should be called
something magnificent, like “The Donald.”
A real ring to it, right? They could be named,
“The Donald I, the Donald II,” and so on.
Accurate enough for these scientists’ phony
statistics about the world warming up.
Fake news, like everything those haters spew.
But now I’ve got to pretend I’m all sad
for the people of Corpus Christi, who, yes,
did vote for me, so my tears won’t be too phony,
though I’ll be happy to get back to Trump Tower
or that dump they call the White House.
But I’ll be damned if I’ll visit Houston
with all its Democrats who hate me worse
than I do a slice of cake with one measly scoop
of ice cream. Let them all drown, especially
the Hispanics: rapists, drug fiends, and murderers.
I bet you think I’ll tell you how I made the waters rise
like when Noah had to build the Ark. Great magicians
have our trade secrets, so don’t ask again.
Trump and the Hurricane, II
Melania’s so beautiful
she’s got to cheer up these losers
that look like half-drowned rats.
Look at her jacket, slacks, and stilettoes,
like when she cat-stalks for me at night,
after I’ve popped an invigorating pill,
her in those stilettoes and a teddy
and that’s it. Man, nothing gets me going
like that glimpse of her furry heaven!
But now the lying media’s criticizing her
for dressing up to visit a disaster area.
I’ll tell you what’s a disaster: Democrats
and the leftwing media that won’t shut up
about me. Even the president’s got a right
to make an honest living:
What we call the free enterprise system.
But back to Melania. Not wanting more flack,
she changed into sneakers and a white shirt
before we landed, so why all the bellyaching?
Because the press hates me for proving they’re idiots.
Next time we’re alone, I’ll have her wear
just that bomber jacket, unzipped to her navel,
and those sexy stilettos. That’s how you govern!